Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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