Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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