Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
