he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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