we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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