If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
