we made out on top of his cat.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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