Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
