I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
two words...techno handjob
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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