i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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