I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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