Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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