Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
