I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
