I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
