Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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