Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
