They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
