Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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