kristin has been a bad kristin
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
