they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize