Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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