Kiss
Puke
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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