Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
