The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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