I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so let's talk penis.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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