Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
