Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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