There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's like iHOP with fire
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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