Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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