i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
