Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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