Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
