she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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