She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
