38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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