shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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