I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize