am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
