Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
