HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
