If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
