And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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