Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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