All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He has the fingertips of a God
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