Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
