I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
