Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize