Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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