According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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