After last night, I could never be a politician.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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