how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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