His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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