clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
