Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
