Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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