i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize