i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
