"it" just moved
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
