Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
