I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
