Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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