So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
