we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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