Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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