my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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