So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
